Many people perceive love as a serendipitous moment which will whisk you off into marriage where you’d end up living happily ever after. I hate to be the one bursting your bubble of romance, but let me tell you this; without knowing what you want in marriage, you’ll end up lost.
Marriage is a project with two partners having a similar goal and wanting it to work. You’ll ask me, “How do I start this project?” Here are some tips I’ve compiled from years of reading about marriage and business.
According to “SoftPMO™ Solutions”, there are SIX main steps when it comes to managing a project:
1) DEFINE
2) PLAN
3) START
4) MONITOR
5) CONTROL
6) CLOSE
Let’s apply those steps to “Marriage Project Management”:
1st) DEFINE
First and foremost, you should ask yourself why you want to get married. Write it down. Also, define the characteristics that you would like in your future partner. Now, after you’ve written both of those, lower your expectations. Look at your list, what’s on there that you would be able to compromise, and what are the essentials that you won’t give up no matter what? Remember, this is your life we are talking about here, so think smartly, and ask a wise friend or an elder if you are confused about some issues.
Question: Some women wonder what the point of marriage is. She can already provide for herself, and she doesn’t want kids. Men ask the same question.
Answer: It’s because we’ve forgotten our roles. Let me be clearer; men are the “Providers and Protectors”, while women are the “Nurturers and Lovers”. Men need “Support and Loyalty”, while women need “Containment and Love”. Simply, women need what men are, while men need what women are.
Ladies, if you work and have a monthly paycheck, that’s great, but let your man provide for you, let him take care of you, because that’s how he feels that he’s fulfilling his role, and you will get pampered.
Gentlemen, some ladies have become accustomed to taking care of themselves, but no matter how tough you think she may be, she is still a woman who needs you to break all of those walls to get to her. Take it as a challenge; show her how much you are willing to win her heart. The stronger she is, the tougher the challenge, so don’t despair, just be patient.
WARNING: Ladies, once you’ve let him provide for you and protect you, don’t you ever make him feel like he is not working hard. When a man loves a woman, it’s like he’s been given a gush of energy that will make him work so hard just to get his woman what she wants. If you give him the impression that what he is doing is not enough, then you have killed him.
Gentlemen, once she’s surrendered her heart to you, don’t you ever break it. You do that, you’ve lost her for life.
At the end of this step, I would like you, ladies and gents, to identify the following for your own sake:
1- What’s your love language? (The 5 Love Languages)
2- What’s your personality type? (16 Personalities)
3- Do you know yourself? Do you love yourself? If not, then please DON’T proceed, until you are self-confident. Otherwise, you are into so much drama.
4- Are you getting married just for your physical needs? If so, then please DON’T proceed.
5- Are you getting married just to fulfill a community obligation? Again, please DON’T proceed.
6- Men, are you ready in all aspects to move on to stability? It is well known that most men won’t take such a serious commitment unless they are stable both financially and career wise.
To sum this up, any marriage should be based on mutual respect, care, friendship, and peace. And just like any company, before partnering up with another, it has to be sure of its product and it should know how it’ll be useful in this partnership.
Usually companies know who their partners are/might be before launching their project. But, there are cases in which the directors of companies have to do some market research for a good partner. A good partner here is a company that has similar goals as yours, that together you’ll make each other better and well-known in the market. Now apply that to relationships. In real life, there are many ways you can meet a potential partner. You can meet them at school, work, through a friend, through family, internet, or have a serendipitous union. No matter how you meet them, you should be ready to truly get to know them, before making any serious decisions.
What about step TWO of “SoftPMO™ Solutions” for managing a project? How can we apply “Planning” in relationships? What about Sex for instance?
To be continued.
By: Sara Abdelghany
Photography: Mahmoud Mansi
EDITOR: Sarah Shalaby