It goes without saying that a strong woman who is able to speak her mind can handle many of the obnoxious situations she faces at work from her male managers and sometimes co-workers. However, in such a patriarchal society, without a strong open-minded boss, their voice does not always make a difference, nor is it heard within their workplace.
A lot of women are raised in a way that makes it easy to miss the thin line between shutting their mouths out of respect for their elders, and speaking their mind in order to stand up for their rights. For younger people, when the male figure is mainly the father and some schoolteachers, too many years are spent impacting the girls’ confidence and the way they respect and view themselves. Girls are taught that criticism, arguing and sometimes simply conversing with an elder – especially a male one – is disrespectful. Then comes the awkward (especially if the girl has been raised in a girls’ only school) transitional phase of the University, before bumping into the real and ugly one: THE EMPLOYMENT phase.
For the majority of fresh graduates, work is a whole new universe. Affected by the social pressures faced during their adolescence, fresh employees can easily fall victims to maltreatment and disrespect from their fellow male managers. It is very common for managers to – as a popular saying in Egypt goes – ‘check the pulse’ of the new employees. Some employees tend to prove from day one that they will be a pain in the ass if anyone thinks of crossing them. However, many young ladies get confused and their vision becomes blurred. They cannot tell whether this manager’s shouting, asking them to perform this extra duty, refusing to approve their leaves etc… is ‘normal’ and that’s how an employee’s life should be, or if there’s something wrong with the way they are being treated.
Months after months, the ladies realize they are much more at ease speaking up to their female seniors than their male ones. Moreover, they get hit in the face with the fact that most of this was happening because they are “female” and probably ended up with a not-so “female-friendly” male manager, and not a very strong supervisor who could stand up for them.
There is no doubt that both actors here; the lady and the manager, have both been victims to an on-going endless vicious circle of patriarchy and sexism that we have been blindly dealing with in our society, resulting in the sad current state of disrespecting women.
So, what is step 1? Remember, it is never okay to stay silent when something simply does not feel right; from having a one-sided conversation to miraculously being convinced you are somehow not entitled to your rights at work, speaking up is the solution, despite it being a hard process. You have to gather your strengths, be prepared for the confrontation and be ready with your arguments. In such cases, working in a professional manner always helps: Keeping your interactions at work as formal as possible, your formal communication with your colleagues always documented through e-mail exchanges, and in critical situations always inform your immediate supervisors.
Last but not least: Personnel manual? Memorize it by heart! And yes it might sound stupid that you have to be prepared as if going for a rap battle; however, it IS a battle! When thinking you are now fighting all the taboos, the social norms that silenced you, fighting to finally position yourself in the place where you have been working but not really listened to, it is a battle worth fighting and winning!
Bottom line is, you are not alone. But it is your choice to stay silent, or to speak up, shine, and get the respect deserve. We do not choose our family or our society, but after we digest our surroundings, we can definitely choose who we are and who we want to be.
*This article does not aim to generalize the situation of women in Egypt. For those who had a better chance growing up in an open-minded family and those who have a strong outstanding personality, may you be a source of inspiration and strength to all women and men around you.
Deena Ossama
Photography: Hadeer El’Masry
EDITORS: Mennat-Allah Yasser Zohny & Nada Adel Sobhi