Written by: Rana Khaled Awwad
Edited by: Heba Essam
“The only thing worse than being blind is having sight but no vision.”
Helen Keller
Life is a perception; it gets darker or brighter depending on how we decide to “perceive” occurrences and choose our path. It is not about focusing on a glass half-full instead of a glass half-empty, but rather how we decide to visualize this empty part? It may become a motive to work harder so that you can achieve whatever you aspire to, instead of being depressed. Robert H. Schuller, the motivational speaker said once, “problems are not stop signs; they are guide lines.”
However, it is always easier said than done: this introduction seems more of a cliché. We all know that problems are guidelines and Allah never intends to plan anything to harm us. Everything is planned for our benefit; this becomes more obvious with time. Still, this happens when time “passes”; but what about when we are still in the heart of this hard time? How can we bear the burden while going through an undesirable path? When is life supposed to move on when we have no energy to keep moving? Especially when there is no time to get some rest in order to regain our energy and keep going. Above all, when those who supported us once are no longer there. How will we get the power to tolerate the pain of both loneliness and exhaustion? How are we supposed to keep going?
In fact our past experiences, bitter or sweet ones, are one of the greatest guidelines that direct our lives, decisions and way of thinking throughout our lifetime. Psychologically, our past experiences are stored in our memories and affect our behaviors. I remember surviving a very hard time when I was sixteen. A teenage girl who is going through a tough time at an early stage of her life. My life initially was stable: I was one of the top students at school, with lots of friends and dynamic character. I was so eager to do many things and I’m an optimistic person by nature, so everything seemed right in place back then, until 31st of December 2012.
On that day, I felt that some sort of fire broke out and that it would never end any day. Our home was no longer home, it lost its warmth and splendor; which led to almost a dissociation for the entire family. After one month, I fell in love for the first time. Even though I have not been through a real relationship, three months later, precisely on 3rd of May 2013, I got my heartbroken. I do not even forget the dates! It was like when something really good was about to happen, as I started to feel alive, then a certain part of me died and could not be awakened again. Nothing is more painful than giving hope to a desperate person then taking it back in a cruelly.
Consequently, my academic level started to drop, and those who used to compete with me to achieve higher scores in SAT started to win at the expense of my deteriorating academic progress. I totally changed from a constantly happy and spontaneous young girl, to a girl who pretends to be fine, even though it was very obvious how severely broken I was.
Losing everything was never easy, especially when things occur simultaneously. However, when you feel uncomfortable in a place, you should change it. Nothing was resolved and nothing was back to normal, but me. If I have already lost most of the things I got, then what else could I lose? I will not deny that this stage unleashed the stronger side of me.
After exactly one year, I started to rise again. I focused more at school and I started to accept my current life until I loved it! I got my happiness by making other people happy, which turns out to affect my mood as well. I achieved third position in SAT rankings, got a scholarship, developed my skills and started to read even more. In the blink of an eye, I was better than who I used to be, even though nothing changed, I just decided not to be overwhelmed by my current situation back then. I refused this uncomfortable life, so I embellished a better one. I chose to “perceive” my life in a more positive way.
Whenever I go through a hard time, I remember this phase. Now, I know how to rise; I can decide what paths may lead to, the consequences of taking those paths and which are worth taking. I got to know that whatever you may get through is just proportional to your strength. Everything is temporary and nothing will stay more than its time… Hard times pass… Good times pass as well. The only constant is the way you adapt to these conditions.
Helen Keller, the world- famous deaf-blind author and activist comes as a perfect example on how to rise and become inspirational. She preserved her glory even after her death, and even while she was handicapped. As a kid, who got deprived from literally everything luxurious any kid should have enjoyed at her age, Helen decided to learn how to write and how to communicate, with the help of her teacher Anne Sullivan. Helen could simply surrender to her state, and hide behind her handicap and no one would blame her, but it was her “choice” to be someone different, inspirational, even when she had no one to support her but her teacher.
It is a fact beyond denial that no certain situation is meant to last for good and nothing is meant to be exactly the way we imagined. In the end, we are the only ones who remain in our lives. We are the only ones who really choose to live this life, and no one else can make this choice on our behalf. Just when you hear this inner voice telling you what should be done, turn the volume up and listen!