A: “So tell me… are you engaged or anything?”
B: “No…I’m actually not at the moment.”
A: “You’re not even considering that any time soon?”
B: “Considering what? Commitment?”
A: “Exactly.”
B: “Not really…I don’t know… ”
A: “Will there be any possibility you get married in the next five years??”
B: “Umm… No?”
A: “Ok. Let me put this in another way… Let’s assume you passed this interview and you’re accepted for that job and suddenly prince charming rode up to your door, which we don’t wish for to happen any time soon, would you say yes??”
B: “I’m sorry?!What kind of question is that and what does it have to do with the job?”
There might be some exaggeration here but those kinds of questions sound more like a cop investigating a case; asking the accused person the same questions over and over again but in different ways, to get more details, detect a lie or to make the picture clearer. This is something closer to detective Conan trying to find clues to solve the mystery of the episode than to an interviewer trying to make a decision in a normal interview.
Women are more vulnerable to those kinds of questions as the first thing that pops up on the interviewer’s mind when a slight intention is intuited is the fear of sudden resignation, or costs and lack of performance caused by maternity leave. But, why should that even be considered as an issue with a “ladies only” sign attached to it?
Believe it or not, it’s not about any of those simplistic generalizations that describe women as emotional freaks, nor about those false beliefs that consider men as “more professional”. Scientifically speaking, women can multi-task and focus in more than one thing at a time better than men added to that the pressure that women face on daily basis. For a real life example, look at all the working women around you. They’ve been there and they could make it through, how many of us already know moms and wives who could manage to do thousands of things all at once? So, it’s nothing more than underestimating the real power within women and downplaying their abilities.
Women have dreams too; goals and aims they’re chasing after and commitment should not hinder their willpower of getting to it. They can get married and have children without having to give up their careers or their dreams; they are able to be professional at work while managing to handle all other responsibilities despite the ups and downs they pass through. Women are able to make perfect super women, regardless of any imperfections, which is not, by any means, opposing to the idea of free choice. Don’t let anyone convince you that you “can’t”; not your employer, not your husband, not your parents, not anyone. It’s all about you, what you want and what you believe in, so be determined enough and get it.
Rafif Sharif
Photography: Alia Faramawi
EDITOR: Mennat-Allah Yasser Zohny