Written By: Rana Khaled Awwad
“I find that being considerate of others and keeping what I say and what I do in agreement makes for a great night’s sleep.”
– Steve Maraboli
It indicates how literally “considerate” this personality trait is; that affecting other people-negatively or emotionally- tend to be reflected on considerate people’s lives. They have almost the most delicate hearts, which necessities being a little cautious and protective of their feelings when you deal with them.
Based on the fact that I belong to this personality type, I decided to unleash my emotions and inner beliefs to write this article instead of logical explanations and unnecessarily philosophical assumptions; always the perspective taken from experience wins.
First, let’s enumerate the 8 common traits for this personality type:
Let’s discuss some of these characteristics validated by experiences from social and professional perspectives:
1-You are often mistaken for an extrovert:
Professionally: Owing to the fact that you always care about your performance and how others will perceive it, you strive to communicate with whoever surrounds you to attain your goal perfectly, build up good relationship with others to create a peaceful and spirited environment that’s safe to work in; you tend to thrive in an environment with good spirit to, finally, feel comfortable because you are not yourself easily whenever you meet new people and be in different environment. Sometimes you deal with your inner tension by facing it to get out of the comfort zone and work perfectly, which validates this point: “You take your responsibilities personally.” Consequently, you may ignore your urge to be on your own just to get to your aspirations and reach perfectionism.
Socially: You refuse to be imprisoned by your fears. However you are easily affected by people’s comments, attitudes towards you, or even feedbacks that you tend to think about them over and over throughout the day; and that leads to the coming point that you are “Deep down emotional”.
Hint: how to deal with this point:
Well, this question is not directed to the people with their personality because it’s just how they are, but for whoever deals with them either professionally or socially:
If they chose to be a little isolated or on a break-or even asked for a break- encourage them to go for it! It means that their capacity to be out of their comfort zone has come to an end and it’s time to unleash their introvert aspect. It doesn’t indicate that they lack productivity or even want to end a friend/relationship. They are simply recharging themselves to come back stronger.
2-Deep down you are emotional:
Professionally: Some people are really highly competitive and put their hearts before their minds when it comes to work; consequently, a simple negative comment can dim the glory of their passion, and they won’t mention how it affected their day, their mindset, or even how they will proceed with their work afterwards.
Socially: comment like: “your blouse needed to be ironed first” or “this scarf doesn’t look good on you” or “stop being stupid.” Such comments may arise high self-doubt within this personality type. They may think “maybe they think I’m not organized enough?” or “maybe everything that’s perfect doesn’t look good on me” or “why am I always stupid? Is it how others see me? Is that why I achieved lower grades last semester” even if the grades are still high and not that low,they will doubt everything they’re doing recently. They may keep having these thoughts running unstoppably for days and even cry about it even when it was a joke or unintended to carry these meanings. They were just very simple comments.
Hint:“If you have something Negative to say, then, say it in a Positive way. Don’t set out to hurt people or their careers. We all deserve a fighting chance to succeed at what we do.”
Try to always encourage them and appraise the slightest achievements they have done so far; words have magical effect and can empower their work ethic keeping them going even stronger, and if you have a negative feedback, simply deliver it honestly but in a decent and kind way; aggressive attitude will do nothing but hurting their feelings and demolishing their ambition and they will barely show it.
Owing to the fact that they are always “considerate” to people’s feelings and strive to give compliments and encouraging words, they expect the same from others because, again, it’s how they are.
You take your responsibilities personally and you are meticulous to the point of perfectionism:
Professionally: It affects the practical life more. Based on the fact that they are “perfectionists” and “emotional,” it means that they love accomplishing all their tasks perfectly. However, if they missed perfection; it will, consequently, hurt their feelings and emotions because apparently doing their work with maximum efficiency will give them self-satisfaction to an extent of euphoria and vice versa for not attaining it! This point may explain why competitive people behave like that; it’s only because they somehow evaluate their personalities and the extent of reaching their goals by how perfect the results of their efforts are. It makes criticism their poison.
Socially: Taking into consideration that they are sensitive and emotional, they consider others to great extent that they “personally” perceive that it’s their “responsibility” to make people surrounding them happy. On the contrary, they may feel people’s problems and react emotionally to these problems especially if they didn’t help them because they feel that they failed this responsibility and personally can’t make more satisfied.
Hint: There’s almost nothing to do for fixing this attitude other than always reminding them that it’s okay to live bad days, and life is not supposed to be smooth: some days you will be extremely successful and other days you will have a drawback. The world is not supposed to be like heaven, and there will always be suffering somehow the same way we get satisfied. Without these bad days we would have never known how good days feel like. Life is like our heartbeats; it’s always up and down, if you got a straight line; you are not living.
3-You usually stay in the background:
Professionally: The majority of considerate people have leadership attitude which positions them in the “background” making sure that everybody has whatever he/she needs, that everyone is comfortable and assured, and that no obstacles facing the people they are surrounded with. They like seeing the big picture, looking after each single person even by a glimpse.
Socially: They always tend to play the “listener” role; they always make sure that whoever surrounds them is comfortable and satisfied. For instance, if you are hanging out with “considerate” personality, he/she will make sure that you go to the restaurant you pick, set the program you are most comfortable about, and picking the places where you feel at ease even if it’s not “considerate” person’s favorite place.
Hint: Considerate people don’t aspire for something special in return. However, your satisfaction is contagious for them, and they feel pleased that their mission got accomplished. Simply, appreciate their intentions for putting you first and be thankful. It is what truly could turn their day upside down: Being the reason behind your inner peace!
4-You have a hidden side:
If you belong to this personality type, you often have strong opinions about others-instincts and decisions- that they tend to keep for themselves in order not to be judgmental; however, you may articulate your unspoken thoughts with your sense of humor without giving honest robust feedback.
Maybe because considerate people are too emotional to reveal their insecurities, deep secrets, or even certain aspect of their personalities, they keep this side “safely” hidden. Based on an experience, I am too conservative when it comes to me weakest points-my emotions- because they are too sensitive for me to be shared, and I may fear how I will be judged or how others will use my insecurities against me. You feel more secure in dim light, because too much light means you are too much exposed.
How to deal with them emotionally and professionally?
If they intend to keep a barrier and maintain their secrets/opinions safely hidden, then respect their reticence until the time comes and they will unleash whatever they tend to keep private. Some of the people who belong to this personality type have strong inclination towards keeping things- whether personal stuff or opinions- private, as if they are building a shield around them like a turtle where they feel safe about not exposing themselves currently. They don’t share everything.
5-No one has better memory of the details of people’s lives:
Professionally: You may remember people’s names on the first meeting. Somehow this attitude helps them thrive in their environment by knowing whom they are dealing with and know quickly how to get to people’s hearts.
Socially: Being considerate validates the fact that you always care about the finest details of people’s lives because it’s how you “consider” others, which makes you an ultimate superficial gift giver. Things like: your coworker’s birthday; your sister’s favorite restaurant or your nephew’s shoe size. You know what gifts match whoever you intend to present it to.
6-Home is really what the heart is:
Even though they have very strong social interactions, regardless that they consider only 1-2 to be their close friends, they take on traditional family roles and hardly miss family gatherings or occasions where they spend long time together. They take it as their duty to care for each single member of the Family.
This personality type is genuinely unique; they are the most to care about whoever surrounds them, always love people and strive to make them exceptionally happy and satisfied with their lives; they usually take professions where they deal directly with people like Education and medicine.
They are too lost in their tenderness and how they deal with the simple comments thrown almost daily unintentionally or even react to a simple drawback dramatically. Making others happy, safe, and comfortable is reflected positively on their emotions; they do it not only for you, but your awe is contagious for them.
If you are aware that your word counts, be kind. Your word is your weapon: don’t use it to kill people’s heart. How you treat others will always be carved deep down in their hearts, not only for this personality type. Be considerate of the considerers.
References:
19 Signs That You’re An ISFJ, One Of The Most Common Personality Types